Now we are six

Our Halloween this past fall was a whole lot sweeter then the usual trick or treat candy you get.

We, Keller's, welcomed our fourth sweet baby and our second GIRL! We were team green until the moment she made her entrance! After an exhausting 38 hour labor I birthed a beautiful 8lb 13oz baby girl! We are over the moon, head over heels in love with our Laurel Jane. It has already been 5 love filled months since her debut. It's like a piece of our family had been missing and we didn't know it until she came and filled the void. 

It is amazing to see how much all of Laurel's siblings are in love with her. Adeline claims that they are best friends. Randy loves to take care of her from diaper changes to rocking her to calm her when she is sad. Robert loves to dought on her; telling her how beautiful she is  and how funny she is and how great her smile is! Needless to say their love for each other makes me beam with pride.
My Laurel is amazing. It is so much fun to watch her grow and develope her own baby personality. She has a smile that would melt the stoniest heart. Her giggle is pure joy. She loves to blow raspberries. She coos. She rolls over both ways. She is also doing this adorable little worm thing as she tries to learn to crawl.
My life is so beyond blessed by these tiny beings that I've been given! 

The Strong Willed Child

I bought the book A Strong Willed Child (and the corresponding work book) a good while back and I am yet to read it. I keep meaning to. I want to. I even think it is important. I mean that is the reason I bought the book, after all! Yet for some reason  I just keep postponing it. I think I am afraid of the convictions I will surely feel about the way I am doing things, I mean I don't beat my children or anything, but I know I am inconsistent and ineffective most days. I am (still) trying to find my parenting style and discipline style. I am desperate to do it in a Godly way, a biblical, a holy way. But I am afraid of seeing my mistakes and realizing just how imperfect I am. It is hard to look in the mirror and see what are your flaws. As christfollowers, and christian parents though, we need to look in that mirror daily. At church this past sunday that is the very topic that was addressed! That we need to use the bible as a mirror showing us what our faults are, not just that though, it also shows us not only are we broken, but we are loved beyond measure. The truth of our brokenness will never out weigh the truth of the love God has for us, children. That is how I want to discipline my children. Knowing it is ok to show them their flaws, (that is what discipling does it shows where we were wrong) but in that same moment I want them to feel the immense love I hold for them. My babies are mine and my responsibility to raise. I fail so often though. I keep trying to do this on my own, thinking that because I love them so much I am going to figure it out. The truth is I don't have to do this by myself. I can utilize the tools God puts before me to help guide me in my choices. I keep crying and wondering what to do when my (Randy) acts out and I get it wrong almost every single time! I am not saying that finally picking up that Dr. Dobson book I bought will solve all my parenting dilemmas but it can only help. I can glean some wisdom from a phycologist, a christfollower, and most important a father who loves his children. I am going to pick that book up and I am going to do that work book. I am going to start reading all the parenting books I have bought and I am going to try and learn something instead of always thinking I have no answers and I am going to have to figure this out on my own!

The Dishes won't Clean Themselves

 Other mommas, as I sit here typing this, I am procrastinating cleaning my home, again.
Recently though, I have been bombarded with a slue of momma blogs telling me that I will never regret holding my littles and letting the dirt pile up. These blogs have resonated with me time and time again. I have been reading them and feeling "yes, see it is ok for my home to be messy as long as I am loving my babies well."

[We} are being told that our husbands, friends, other mothers, and neighbors all need to  understand that our home is a mess and that is just the way it is, at this faze of our lives. And it is. Our homes will be lived in, there will be toys, there will be little hand prints and missed cheerios BUT it is not ok let the housework go neglected. Yes, we are mothers, but we are also wives, we are housekeepers. We have a responsibility to teach our children how to multi-task, how to clean up after themselves. It is our jobs to tell them its not ok to live like slobs. That we must take ownership of our possessions, our home, we are stewards of all God has given us and that means taking care to clean our domain. At the end of the day our homes may not look like the cover of a magazine, but we can not let things like: neglected dishes, laundry and kitchen floor sweeping build up. Each day we do nothing it makes it harder to do something the next day, and the next day.
Our kids will of course remember the memories we make and share but they will also remember the state of our homes. Do not buy into the idea that it doesn't matter. It does. I remember how my mother kept our home growing up. It was nice, it was clean and we made great memories and played and made messes but at the end of each of our grand adventures my mother taught us to pick up to take care of what we owned. I appreciate what she taught me. That you can be both a loving, fun, memory making mother AND a housekeeper.  our children WILL remember the way our house made them feel, it will help decided how they care for their families and homes. I want my kids to live in a home where there is love, but there is also responsibility and we clean together. Things do not have to be perfect but let us strive to get our homes in order. Let us not make excuses for why our homes are always dirty. Let us remember it is our jobs to teach our littles and cleaning is something that has to be taught. If you have a baby who always needs to be held ( I do), buy a carrier, put them in a highchair and move the chair around the house with you, give them a rag and some toys to "clean". Involve your children, make it a game, do whatever you have to do to bring some semblance of order to your home. Do not feel bad when you miss a day, or you're sick but do not just neglect doing it because you are to tired or you don't feel it today. We will always be tired, we are mothers. We will never feel like, seriously who enjoys cleaning? But it is our jobs along with making memories.

kidisms

Robert here lately has been cracking me up!

Robert: Mom, mom!
me: what baby?
robert: My legs! They are SO big! I mean they so big! Why my legs so big? (as he sits in his undies examining his legs) It's because I'm growing up!
like my dad!
me: yes Robert thats it!


2nd convo:

Robert: MOM! LOOK!
Me: at what?
Robert: My dinosaur feet! My feet are just like a dinosaurs!
Me: Um, ok ? That's cool baby?
Robert: I love dinosaur feet!

Five Years of Wedded Bliss {July 26th, 2008 was the date}

On July 26th, Jason Keller and I celebrated 5 years of marriage! Can you believe that? We haven't killed each other yet. Talk about accomplishment. Just kidding, I couldn't fathom a life without him by my side. I need him. He needs me. We're blessed. We have had more then our fair share of trials in our years of marriage: financial crisis (again and again), moving in with my parents, moving out of my parents, 1st apartment, 1st home, 3 kids in 3 1/2 years. We've grown up, we've grown together, we've fallen even deeper into love. I didn't know that was possible, but I've gone from smitten, to love, to a deeper, purer, stand-the-test-of-time love with my husband. Each day I get to love him, I am grateful.


Jason,
 I am beyond blessed to be your wife. We fight, we yell, we love really well. We learn and grown together with each passing year. Five years has flown, it's been rocky, smooth isn't what we do, but I wouldn't want smooth if it wasn't with you. I am so excited to look back and reflect on the next 5 years, and the next, and the next. Our marriage will last. We will last. God makes us work. It's nice having that glue, that center, that knowledge that we were made for each other. Thank-you babe for sticking by my side through my pain-in-the-butt moments, the ugly moments, the hysterical, irrational moments; and through the beautiful, godly, breathtaking moments like: the birth of each of our perfect gifts, our nights snuggled in bed with 2 boys between us, the daily kisses that despite being pretty much mandatory you still manage to make them feel tender and sweet, and oh so desirable. I love you, I love snuggling, kissing, and everything else. I love being by your side. You ground me, you make me feel secure when everything falls apart. You are my gift, designed by God for me. Amazing. I love you honey.

Love,
Me

Pizza Night.

We did a fun pizza night.

the boys loved kneading and making their own pizzas.

The end result was absolutely delicious!

Someday's I wonder, "WHAT WAS I THINKING"

Today is one of those days. Everything goes wrong from the moment you wake up. I woke this morning with a pounding headache and my stomach aching as well. My boys were up at 730 despite my need for extra zzz. I slept horribly last night and that was a big contributor to the over all aches that I was feeling, I think. So I tried sleeping in the TV room as the boys watched Dora the Explorer. That of course didn't work because although I got Adie back asleep for a little the boys are, well, boys. They are loud and messy even in their "quietness". So I was up for the day. Minus well clean, I thought. Nope that wasn't happening either. Adie decided today was going to be the hardest day ever since we had her. She had been screaming and screaming and screaming pretty much all of today (when she wasn't napping). Then Randy and Robert decided dumping out all of their toys every where and then trowing them around my home and then fighting with each other over EVERYTHING sounded like the best idea ever. Mind you, my headache has persisted this entire day. I believe that there is a battle ax being driven into my brain. My house is a wreck, I have 4 flies that keep escaping my killing attempts, my puppy keeps trying to lick all over my new carpet, my sons have crumbs littered through out the house. All this leaves me thinking, "What the heck was I thinking having 3 children. I must literally be insane."
And then I look down in my arms and that fussy, demanding, screaming, little girl is passed out with an adorable smirk on her face. She looks perfect, angelic. And my Randy offers to sweep the mess in the kitchen and Robert looks at me and tells me "Mom, I love you a thousand!" And I remember no matter how horrible one day is I am so happy I have my little blessings. And one bad day will never compete with the thousands of amazing, blessed, fun days we have had and will have. I am in love and wouldn't exchange the difficult path of parenthood for any amount of "easy" days. Even on the hardest days by the end of it I am left looking at the most perfect sleeping faces thanking God he gave me Randy, Robert, and Adeline.