The Strong Willed Child

I bought the book A Strong Willed Child (and the corresponding work book) a good while back and I am yet to read it. I keep meaning to. I want to. I even think it is important. I mean that is the reason I bought the book, after all! Yet for some reason  I just keep postponing it. I think I am afraid of the convictions I will surely feel about the way I am doing things, I mean I don't beat my children or anything, but I know I am inconsistent and ineffective most days. I am (still) trying to find my parenting style and discipline style. I am desperate to do it in a Godly way, a biblical, a holy way. But I am afraid of seeing my mistakes and realizing just how imperfect I am. It is hard to look in the mirror and see what are your flaws. As christfollowers, and christian parents though, we need to look in that mirror daily. At church this past sunday that is the very topic that was addressed! That we need to use the bible as a mirror showing us what our faults are, not just that though, it also shows us not only are we broken, but we are loved beyond measure. The truth of our brokenness will never out weigh the truth of the love God has for us, children. That is how I want to discipline my children. Knowing it is ok to show them their flaws, (that is what discipling does it shows where we were wrong) but in that same moment I want them to feel the immense love I hold for them. My babies are mine and my responsibility to raise. I fail so often though. I keep trying to do this on my own, thinking that because I love them so much I am going to figure it out. The truth is I don't have to do this by myself. I can utilize the tools God puts before me to help guide me in my choices. I keep crying and wondering what to do when my (Randy) acts out and I get it wrong almost every single time! I am not saying that finally picking up that Dr. Dobson book I bought will solve all my parenting dilemmas but it can only help. I can glean some wisdom from a phycologist, a christfollower, and most important a father who loves his children. I am going to pick that book up and I am going to do that work book. I am going to start reading all the parenting books I have bought and I am going to try and learn something instead of always thinking I have no answers and I am going to have to figure this out on my own!

The Dishes won't Clean Themselves

 Other mommas, as I sit here typing this, I am procrastinating cleaning my home, again.
Recently though, I have been bombarded with a slue of momma blogs telling me that I will never regret holding my littles and letting the dirt pile up. These blogs have resonated with me time and time again. I have been reading them and feeling "yes, see it is ok for my home to be messy as long as I am loving my babies well."

[We} are being told that our husbands, friends, other mothers, and neighbors all need to  understand that our home is a mess and that is just the way it is, at this faze of our lives. And it is. Our homes will be lived in, there will be toys, there will be little hand prints and missed cheerios BUT it is not ok let the housework go neglected. Yes, we are mothers, but we are also wives, we are housekeepers. We have a responsibility to teach our children how to multi-task, how to clean up after themselves. It is our jobs to tell them its not ok to live like slobs. That we must take ownership of our possessions, our home, we are stewards of all God has given us and that means taking care to clean our domain. At the end of the day our homes may not look like the cover of a magazine, but we can not let things like: neglected dishes, laundry and kitchen floor sweeping build up. Each day we do nothing it makes it harder to do something the next day, and the next day.
Our kids will of course remember the memories we make and share but they will also remember the state of our homes. Do not buy into the idea that it doesn't matter. It does. I remember how my mother kept our home growing up. It was nice, it was clean and we made great memories and played and made messes but at the end of each of our grand adventures my mother taught us to pick up to take care of what we owned. I appreciate what she taught me. That you can be both a loving, fun, memory making mother AND a housekeeper.  our children WILL remember the way our house made them feel, it will help decided how they care for their families and homes. I want my kids to live in a home where there is love, but there is also responsibility and we clean together. Things do not have to be perfect but let us strive to get our homes in order. Let us not make excuses for why our homes are always dirty. Let us remember it is our jobs to teach our littles and cleaning is something that has to be taught. If you have a baby who always needs to be held ( I do), buy a carrier, put them in a highchair and move the chair around the house with you, give them a rag and some toys to "clean". Involve your children, make it a game, do whatever you have to do to bring some semblance of order to your home. Do not feel bad when you miss a day, or you're sick but do not just neglect doing it because you are to tired or you don't feel it today. We will always be tired, we are mothers. We will never feel like, seriously who enjoys cleaning? But it is our jobs along with making memories.