The Strong Willed Child

I bought the book A Strong Willed Child (and the corresponding work book) a good while back and I am yet to read it. I keep meaning to. I want to. I even think it is important. I mean that is the reason I bought the book, after all! Yet for some reason  I just keep postponing it. I think I am afraid of the convictions I will surely feel about the way I am doing things, I mean I don't beat my children or anything, but I know I am inconsistent and ineffective most days. I am (still) trying to find my parenting style and discipline style. I am desperate to do it in a Godly way, a biblical, a holy way. But I am afraid of seeing my mistakes and realizing just how imperfect I am. It is hard to look in the mirror and see what are your flaws. As christfollowers, and christian parents though, we need to look in that mirror daily. At church this past sunday that is the very topic that was addressed! That we need to use the bible as a mirror showing us what our faults are, not just that though, it also shows us not only are we broken, but we are loved beyond measure. The truth of our brokenness will never out weigh the truth of the love God has for us, children. That is how I want to discipline my children. Knowing it is ok to show them their flaws, (that is what discipling does it shows where we were wrong) but in that same moment I want them to feel the immense love I hold for them. My babies are mine and my responsibility to raise. I fail so often though. I keep trying to do this on my own, thinking that because I love them so much I am going to figure it out. The truth is I don't have to do this by myself. I can utilize the tools God puts before me to help guide me in my choices. I keep crying and wondering what to do when my (Randy) acts out and I get it wrong almost every single time! I am not saying that finally picking up that Dr. Dobson book I bought will solve all my parenting dilemmas but it can only help. I can glean some wisdom from a phycologist, a christfollower, and most important a father who loves his children. I am going to pick that book up and I am going to do that work book. I am going to start reading all the parenting books I have bought and I am going to try and learn something instead of always thinking I have no answers and I am going to have to figure this out on my own!