Someday's I wonder, "WHAT WAS I THINKING"

Today is one of those days. Everything goes wrong from the moment you wake up. I woke this morning with a pounding headache and my stomach aching as well. My boys were up at 730 despite my need for extra zzz. I slept horribly last night and that was a big contributor to the over all aches that I was feeling, I think. So I tried sleeping in the TV room as the boys watched Dora the Explorer. That of course didn't work because although I got Adie back asleep for a little the boys are, well, boys. They are loud and messy even in their "quietness". So I was up for the day. Minus well clean, I thought. Nope that wasn't happening either. Adie decided today was going to be the hardest day ever since we had her. She had been screaming and screaming and screaming pretty much all of today (when she wasn't napping). Then Randy and Robert decided dumping out all of their toys every where and then trowing them around my home and then fighting with each other over EVERYTHING sounded like the best idea ever. Mind you, my headache has persisted this entire day. I believe that there is a battle ax being driven into my brain. My house is a wreck, I have 4 flies that keep escaping my killing attempts, my puppy keeps trying to lick all over my new carpet, my sons have crumbs littered through out the house. All this leaves me thinking, "What the heck was I thinking having 3 children. I must literally be insane."
And then I look down in my arms and that fussy, demanding, screaming, little girl is passed out with an adorable smirk on her face. She looks perfect, angelic. And my Randy offers to sweep the mess in the kitchen and Robert looks at me and tells me "Mom, I love you a thousand!" And I remember no matter how horrible one day is I am so happy I have my little blessings. And one bad day will never compete with the thousands of amazing, blessed, fun days we have had and will have. I am in love and wouldn't exchange the difficult path of parenthood for any amount of "easy" days. Even on the hardest days by the end of it I am left looking at the most perfect sleeping faces thanking God he gave me Randy, Robert, and Adeline.

Backyard Chickens

Right before Easter time this year my family decided to embark on our first real homesteading adventure. We bought 4 baby chicks. They were so cute and fuzzy. We even named them: Abigail  Evelyn, Burnis, and Gretchen. They lived in our house for two months and then we moved them to our garage, awaiting their coops building. At about 11 weeks we moved them into their half finish coop. After the first day of being outside we lost one of a chicks. She had been sick and it finally took her. I cried A LOT. It was hard because I was the one responsible for their care and well being. The day after we lost Evelyn, Gretchen fell ill. We nursed her back to health with sunshine, apple cider vinegar, and probiotics. Magically, she recovered. Gretchen was the outsider in the group and she would follow my husband, me and the boys around the yard. She was curious and loved to be petted. She would perch on our arms and just hang out. We genuinely grew to love her. Well, fast forward to 16 weeks. It is the beginning of summer now, but the temps had been cool until all the sudden it went from 70 one day to 95 the next. Gretchen got sick again. The heat wiped her out and the door to her coop some how got shut and she couldn't get to her water. When we got home my hubby noticed she wasn't do well. So of course I tried all of the things that helped her before, but it was too late. I held her and petted her and tried to help her eat and drink. She gripped my finger with her feet, looking at me, her breathing shallow, she moved her head closer to me so I could pet her. So I continued petting her, then her feet lost grip and her head fell to the coop floor and I watched my pet chicken breathe her last breath. It was weird, we just like that lost the only chicken that liked us, we lost my sons favorite chicken. I mean she was Randy's favorite from the beginning  he had picked her out. I know she was just a chicken but loosing life of any sort, even that random road kill squirrel is always hard on me. I love animals and seeing one die crushes me. We buried her in our back yard and the boys told her they would see her in heaven. They told her they where sorry she got sick and they hoped she felt better now. And that was it, it was over and the boys where asking daddy to buy them a new Gretchen, one that wasn't sick. It is amazing to me how quickly children can move on. It's a gift. We buried her to help them learn to grieve and say good by and to learn to respect all life, even if it is just a chicken. And my boys were sad, but they got over it quickly. I am grateful God makes children and their emotions so resilient!! Despite my disappointment in our two lost chickens we are going to try again. We will be getting a few more chickens and hopefully I will be able to better care for them and make sure that they are all happy and healthy.
Let the homesteading adventure continue!!!

one of their 1st adventures outside

back row: Abigail, Gretchen

front row: Evelyn, Burnis

Gretchen just chillin' with Randyman. No big deal:)

the chickens coop

So, it' Been Six Months and A Broken Leg Later

I'm late, I'm late! For a very important date. My sweet Adeline turned six months a week and a half ago already! Wow, that was fast!

-She is still petite.
- She rolls over; both ways.
-She sits on her own for brief periods of time.
-She reaches for me to pick her up.
- She pinches me while she falls asleep in my arms, just to let me know I better not put her down.
- She touches my face as she nurses and looks into my eyes.
- When she smiles her whole body wiggles.
- Still co-sleeping. She wouldn't have it any other way.  :)
- Loves her brothers. They make her happy.
 - She prefers the big boy toys to her "baby" toys. Action heros taste better.
- Still not really eating solids. We're taking our time.


Now, about that broken leg business. My Robert slipped and fell on some water in our kitchen while being chased by his puppy, Lila. His femur suffered the injury. He spiral fractured the hardest bone in his body! It was one of the hardest things I have ever, EVER, had to got through. To watch your baby suffer and know there is nothing you can do to fix the problem is horrible. He ended up having surgery at Cardinal Glennon Hospital and after a one night stay he was released on pain meds. He did amazingly well. All of the nurses were so impressed with his ability to manage the pain. They said most kids screamed more and required a lot more narcotics. My baby is tough, what can I say?
It broke his daddy's heart to see his buddy go through something so traumatic. A couple of nights after we came home from the hospital Jase got off work and came home around 10pm. Usually, the boys are still awake when their daddy comes home (no matter how late) they can't fall asleep with out their daddy lovin's. So per the usual for a brief moment my husband got excited and prepared to be tackled by Randy and his Robert. When he walked through our front door, nothing. Robert wasn't coming to greet him. Robert was stuck in bed with a broken femur. My husband felt devastated for Robert all over again. Those first few days were pretty emotional raw. Fortunately 2 year olds are resilient  Even as I type this Robert is crawling around and in terrific spirits. No broken leg is going to hold my 2 year old back. He has a doctor appointment this friday, if were super lucky he will get the cast removed. But more then likely it will be another 2 weeks.

See a Robert just hanging out like nothing happened. What a trooper.

There are so many things to update about I'll post more later :)

Spring has Sprung

Ahh Spring is here, it's really here!! We were ready, I was READY! We can play outside on a regular bases!

Spring is a time of new beginnings and fun adventures. So, in the spirit of newness I have decided to start Adie in cloth diapers! The catch? I literally do not want to spend a dime on any of it. I already spent a small fortune when I tried it for the boys. We were in an apartment and it was hard without a washer and dryer. Also, I think I just wasn't fully ready to commit. So, I gave away some and returned all of my diapering stuff. Thank goodness for friends willing to part with their stash, for free!!  It has been three days of full time cloth diapering and I can say with certainty I am a convert. It is not nearly as hard as I had convinced myself it would be. I love it, I feel like such a hippy! I'm happy to be rid of all the chemicals in disposables and to help the environment out! It's kinda empowering as a momma, feeling like you are doing something right!!

An unrelated note, my Adie is 5 1/2 months and only 13 pounds! She is sooo petite. She has been exclusively breastfed. I actually haven't been to a well baby visit since she was 6 weeks. We are on the fence about vaccines and I know I don't want to give her any for at least her 1st year. So, I just haven't gone to check ups. But we were at cotton babies and I weighed Adie and now I guess I am just wanting to make sure that my mommy gut is right and that it is fine that she is in the 9th percentile! Oh motherhood, I find myself constantly second guessing myself!! Though I truly believe my daughter is thriving! I don't know what my need for doc confirmation is :(

The boys are really starting to grow up. They really aren't "toddlers" any more but preschoolers.  They are ridiculously smart. Honestly you can't get anything past them!!! They remember everything. Just when you think they forgot what you promised ( like candy) they surprise you 3 days later asking for that promised candy!! They impress me so much!

Randy:

-the boss
-loves to run
-still sucks his thumb
-gives the sweetest compliments
-loves to love on sissy
-cares deeply about his family
-fearless and brave
-protective

Robert:

-goofball
-plays hard to get
-lives in his own world
-loves to tag along with Randy
-gives the biggest wet-est kisses
-terrified of bugs
-majorly dramatic
- daddy's boy

Adeline:

- started solids : avocado and bananas
-rolls over like a pro
-loves to snuggle
-big talker
-smily all the time
-laughs at her brothers
-loves daddy's silly faces
-still nursing!!!
- balding ;)
-tiny and petite
-HATES her carseat

I love this motherhood thing and I hope I always remember the way these silly, sweet children make my heart smile!!

Rain, Rain Go Away

It's April. April showers bring May flowers, right?? Well, how about we skip cold showers and just have warm sprinkling rain? So that my boys, Adie and I can go outside without the cold winds and chilling rain! It has been so nice the past few days, I almost thought we would get by with out any more chilly weather. A mom can hope right? But, Tornados and thunderstorms wrecked havoc last night and made for a dreary day today. Oh well, I am grateful that the tornado didn't land by our house. And I do feel terrible for those who's homes were destroyed so I will try and remain positive when stuck in doors. Since today is miserable we are just watching movies. Probably, a bad mommy thing to let happen but this weather is not only making outside damp and gross but it is messing with my sinuses  so I am feeling a PJ and movie day for us, is just what the (momma) doctor ordered!

On a separate note, my brother, Nicholas, will get back from Marine boot camp on April 26!! Woo hoo my boys will finally get to see and play with there Uncle. And my Adie will get to charm her way into his heart just like Randy and Robert did. He (my brother) will make it back just in the nick of time to see my baby girl get dedicated :) So, excited that he will get to be a witness to our commitment to raise Adie to know Jesus, just like he got to be there for the boys dedications.

Also, on my exciting things list is I got a brand new Ergo Sport baby carrier! Bam! So exciting. It's pricy even when getting a deal. So it is an extremely early mothers day gift but man I am obsessed already. So far I've used it in the front and hip carry positions. I don't think Adie is ready for the back carry, maybe in another month. It's red and it is fabulous! I highly recommend getting a baby carrier if you are an expectant mother for the first or the fifth time. They are life savers. I have 3 different types and they are great, but I can already tell the ergo is by far my favorite. I am all about being able to keep baby and mommy happy and wearing your baby is the best way to get in precious bonding time and get the laundry done! Anyway everyone should have a carrier

this is my mei tai carrier.

I was able to have my hands free

as I took my 3 and 2 year olds

on an adventure.

so much nicer for hiking and enjoying all my 

kiddos!

The sweet life

My mother was recently out of town in Spokane, Washington. She got to visit my cousin and her sweet new baby girl. Needless to say my sons missed her termendously. They LOVE their mamaw, like REALLY LOVE. She is the coolest ever to them. Mostly, I think because she is a lot more fun then me, I am boring. Anyway, because they missed her they were invited for a sleep over yesterday. They got back today at 1pm. So the had been away from me since 12pm yesterday till 1pm today! My house was so quiet, too quiet. I hated it, I missed my boys so much. It was boring and I felt lonely with out my toddlers. I love being a mother and I feel like part of me is missing without them being around. It's funny because 1 minute I think I need a brake the next minute I am missing them. Motherhood is funny that way.

Sunshine and Puppy dog tails

Spring fever has hit the Keller household. Thank goodness for warm weather. We have gotten to be outside so much lately! Yeah for sunshine, yeah for spring!!

We have been busy. This weekend we started to put up a fence. Jase dug all the holes and set the poles with quickcrete! Just one more weekend and the project will be complete. What a stress reliever. Now my precious babes can not run into the street! Oh and our dogs can go potty with out being chained!! The pups will love running around the newly fenced yard!

We have chickens now too! Four hens, were trying to be homesteaders. We want to be self sustainable, to rely on what God made, purity. We will see how everything goes but were excited.

We also have a new puppy, her name is Lila. She is beautiful and sweet and the boys are completely enthralled with her. She is a good pup, quick learner. She is black with carmel swirling, she is a pitbull.

Randy is obsessed with being a HERO. He plays super heros everyday, lately he has been into Batman. He is the BOSS in the family, he loves to lead. He cares about others especially his momma. He loves to please me. He loves to snuggle me. He absolutely has to sit on the same side of the car that I do or he has a major brake down, complete with tears and screams. He is learning to count, but he doesn't really get it. He gets frustrated and wants me to do it for him if he forgets a number. He loves reading. Before bed he wants to read a million books. He reminds everyone when it is time for prayers (before eating and sleeping). He loves to say the prayers. He prays about EVERYTHING. It's sweet. He talks about Jesus/God living in our hearts. He requests "Jesus music" in the car. He enjoys church.

Robert. Robert is our special, special boy; we like to say. He lives in his own goofy world. He talks with himself and plays by himself. He loves to make you laugh. He is a parrot. He is OBSESSED with all things Daddy. He and Randy use deodorant now because it's "big boy" stuff, like daddy. He sings about daddy, talks about Daddy, lives and breathes daddy. It is adorable. Robert recently busted his lip, badly. He went to the Urgent Care:( Nothing they could do though so he will just have a scar on his beautiful face now! Ugh, it was scary! There was way to much blood. He is an incredible sweet boy, he and Randy love to tell people, especially mommy and daddy how much they love them. SO Robert will come up to you and look you in the eye declaring, "I love you, in the whole world mommy!!" (meaning more then anything in the whole world). He melts my heart every time I look into his big, beautiful brown eyes. He is a sharer, but you have to ask nicely. If you ask please he will give you the shirt of his back!

My darling Adeline is now 4 months old! Wow! She loves to sit in her jumperoo and play with her toys now. Her dexterity is vastly improving. She has the biggest, sweetest, most heart stopping smile in the whole world. She loves to be talked to, she repondes in smiles and coos galore. She reaches to touch your face when you engage her. She is so long! She is finally getting a little chub on her. She is in the correlating baby clothing sizes for her age, finally. She is 4 months and wears 3-6 month clothing. I was beginning to think she would never grow. I'm pretty sure her eyes are staying blue, win for mommy :) She has beautiful strawberry blond hair with this subtle light blond highlights. Her birth mark still hasn't faded but I'm sure it will, Robert's took about a year. We are still breastfeeding!! YEAH US!! Since I only breastfed the boys 12 weeks and 11 weeks this is HUGE to me!! We are definitely enjoying our breastfeeding relationship and we will be going strong for a while. I am hoping we make it too at least 18 months. Maybe beyond that and into tandem nursing a fourth baby?? Who knows what is in-store for us but right now we are celebrating the small milestones like making it past three months.  :) She is a very easy, mild mannered baby still. She just loves to be snuggled and loved on, which works out because this momma love snuggles and loving!

I'm trying to be more patient with my children (the boys) especially when they are being defiant. I know that they are young and sometimes what they are feeling is hard to explain in words they know and it can overwhelm them and cause tantrums. SO I am trying to put myself in their shoes, and understand their needs. So far I'm not sure that I am doing all that well, But I am trying and I do want to parent with as much grace as possible. I know I'm given grace I don't deserved daily by my Savior, why shouldn't my monkey's be extended the same? I have been in a bit of a house cleaning rut this past week (since Easter). I had been keeping everything up so well and lately I can barely do anything! UGH I need to get my act together and clean up!! Wish me luck because even as I write this I should be cleaning! Oh well there is always tomorrow!